A Letter to Our Burglars

Dear Burglars,
I know writing a letter to someone that has broken into your home is not a conventional thing to do, but the loss of our personal items is still heavily on my mind. I thought you should know that the losses in general didn’t really upset us in regards to their monetary value, but because each item meant something to one or more of us. Those weren’t just “things” that you took when you broke into our home uninvited, they were sentimental memories. I wanted you to know the value of my things to me, as a person, so I will list them here:
– The white watch was a 30th birthday present from Big Sister that I had been wanting for a looooong time. I squealed in shock and excitement when I opened it.
– The purple camera was a gift from my parents and is very well traveled. It has been to Italy, Germany, Amsterdam, Prague, wine country USA, Manhattan and even Brazil. Lots of great memories with that camera and I’m glad I backed up the photos so you can go ahead and delete them.
– The burgandy camera was a 29th birthday present from Big Sister. I didn’t get to use it much but that’s ok. You probably need it more.
– The Flip Cam was a Christmas present that I also didn’t get to use much. Nothing juicy saved on there so no need to look.
– My roommate’s camera was probably your favorite. She’s really upset about losing those photos and you should know that’s a big deal to her.
– The blackberry was an old piece of crap, so you won’t get much for it. Fyi.
– The men’s running watch was my birthday present to Boyfriend a couple years ago. We trained for two half-marathons together using that watch to time ourselves. We were very proud of ourselves for running together both times. Sorry if it smells like sweat!
– Speaking of watches, you also took his grandfather’s watch, which was the only thing he had left of his. That’s pretty mean of you….just saying.
– The silver necklace with the purple stone was my birthday present from Boyfriend a couple years ago. It was my favorite necklace for more than one reason.
– You also took the necklace my roommate’s boyfriend had given her, while we’re talking about boyfriend necklaces.
– The necklace with the silver “J” was a necklace from my ex-boyfriend. We don’t really keep in touch, but I kept it because I really liked it. I’m sure you like it too though.
– The gold necklace with the leaves was a high school graduation gift from my childhood babysitter.
– The pearl earrings were a gift and were my favorite earrings that I owned. I wore them often and always felt really pretty and grown up in them. They were my “fancy earrings.”
– As for the two earrings that you took that are each missing their companions, don’t worry because they’re not real diamonds and you won’t get anything for them. One pair I bought for New Year’s Eve a few years ago and the other I wore in Little Sister’s wedding (I was co-maid of honor). I would have loved to have kept them though.
– The two sturdy silver bracelets were gifts from Boyfriend’s parents. Not cool, Burglar.
– The black, sparkly wrist cuff (which btw cost about $2 from Claire’s, so congrats on that steal) was something I bought myself when I was 18 years old and I still wore it at the age of 30. I loved that thing.
– I’m not quite sure why you needed all my cheap necklaces from H & M and Hot Topic, to be honest. You could have left a girl with some jewerly to wear.
– Same goes for the buttons that had Devo and Madonna on them. I bought those for my college film project that took place in the 80’s. I hope you wear those and don’t just throw them away!
– The little wrist pouch that says “Valley Fair” was something I have had since I was five years old when we went there for a family vacation. Really, Burglar? You needed to take that?
– Lastly, my jewerly box looks stupid now without the missing drawer and I’ve had that thing since I was little. Really annoying.
All I can say is that I hope you really, really, really needed the money. I imagine you have family sitting at home, starving and waiting for you to bring home the “bacon.” I’m going to pretend that’s the case. Although, next time I’d rather you just took the literal food from our fridge. I just want you to know that even though you took all of these things and it’s painful, we will be fine. We still have our memories and you can’t steal those. I still saw Italy, I still ran those half-marathons and our families still love us.
P.S. You must really like Scotch, that bottle barely had anything in it.
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